Give it a chance.

Finding the right connection is an art form in itself these days.  We are all picky...all looking for the perfect match. We all want the same thing, yet it's difficult to find someone...like a needle in a haystack...that will be the one to endure through all of our trials and faults and challenges that life hurdles at us. The fact remains that this is a new age. People are impatient thanks to the subliminal training we receive on a daily basis through the internet and this fast paced, over marketed, in-your-face advertised world that constantly tells us what we should do and be and buy into. Though we are all looking for the same thing, we are all confusing ourselves as to what kind of package that should come in.

I fervently believe that in our quest to receive nothing short of what we deserve, my generation has lost the desire to WORK through difficult times with their partners, thus giving up, becoming lazy, and losing the chance to work toward something greater like our grandparents have achieved upon their 50th wedding anniversaries through years of dedication and devotion. As a result, being a single in my 30's has brought me to find a plethora of divorced, separated, and insta-families...in other words, singles that in mid life have already "been there, done that" in terms of marriage and the attempt at producing a family, and subsequently have failed. These are the terms of dating in your 30's in 2011. The pickings of single men who've never been married or who have no children, who actually WANT to settle down are slim to none. Or so it seemed for so damn long.

Much to my surprise, I have found that there are plenty of these gents out there; however, through their baggage and own negative experiences in the dating world...they are quick to judge, slow to love, and very very skeptical in the department of trust and appreciation for women. Basically, everyone is so darn jaded, that we all put the brakes on hard before we even turn the ignition. How is anyone going to ever feel real love if we can't give love a chance?

With speed dating and internet dating, we seem to be on fast forward toward finding the right person, but without the chance to really get to know someone on an intimate and comfortable level...we're doomed from finding that connection right from the start.

Sometimes, we make the mistake to build someone we like up to who they really aren't and then get our hearts broken when we realize that person was never the person we thought they were. And it is highly important to realize that you CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE. If someone isn't already the person you'd like them to be...then they are not right for you...period. I've learned to stop wasting my time trying to change someone and move on...remaining forever on my quest to find the right match. This has provoked me to leave some very long-term relationships, two of which were pseudo-engagements. As I get older, I get more stubborn and more jaded, and more picky. There have been so many times where I've thought to myself...am I simply not giving it a chance? Am I just one of those people who are so hard to please that I'm passing up opportunity after opportunity?

I've recently listened to a plea from someone to give it a chance. And I'm so glad that I did! Because my mind and my heart has been newly opened to something I very well may have been looking for all this time. That needle in the haystack.  And he's been looking for his too.  And only time and the chance taken will tell. All I know is that everyone has always told me to have faith and that when it's the right time and the world's energies are in order for me...it will happen. But to all of my single and never-been-married friends out there...take down your guard every now and then...if you're afraid of bridges...face your phobia and drive over one. In other words, if something looks worth it...risk it...and give it a CHANCE.